Greetings lover of manly men! These stories primarily involve the actors who appeared in the Lord of the Rings movie trilogy -- namely: Sean Astin, Sean Bean, Orlando Bloom, Billy Boyd, Ian McKellen, Dominic Monaghan, Viggo Mortensen and Elijah Wood. Many other people appear as well, some real and some imaginary. None of it is true, though the people are real. Sorry to dwell on this, but please be warned that there is homosexual content in these stories. If you feel any kind of squick* related to that please do us both a favor and go to one of the numerous other fan websites more suited to your taste. (*Squick – anything that makes you go “ewwwwww!”)
A savage grin lit Marteen’s face, and he wrenched the knife, jerking the impaled actor’s body like it was a puppet. The knife pulled free with a sucking sound and Orli went down, his head striking the table and his body falling atop the shattered vase. The beautiful Elven cloak pooled around his still form, draping it like a setting for a portrait. “Orli,” Elijah said softly, rising to his knees, reaching out to touch the still shoulder. “That should have been you, kid,” Marteen said cruelly from
between clenched teeth. “Take care of this,” he told the security
man, turning away. A moment of stunned silence; then came cheers and applause from the crew. Catcalls echoed around the soundstage. Viggo rubbed his thumb along the edge of Orli’s Elven earlobe, then blew him a little kiss. Turning, Viggo took a bow to rapturous approval. Aragorn strode off like he owned the joint. “You smug bastard,” Orli marveled. “Oh, my…” Fran said softly. “It’s a Kiwi.” And indeed it was. A patently dead, and long, long gone Kiwi bird, propped up on a bed of flowers. Bright red currants had replaced the eyes, fruit adorning the entire display. Its clenched claws each gripped a grape, and a halved kiwi fruit was artfully skewered onto the upturned bill. It was an amazing presentation for so many reasons – but most thankfully that it didn’t smell as bad as it probably should. Peter gently replaced the cover, removing the show-stopping bird from
sight. “Pardon me, Fran, Alan, everyone…I’ve got some
Hobbits and an Elf to murder.” Orli stopped him with a palm on his chest. “Elijah, I can’t
make any promises. Be sure you’re really willing to do this without
any strings attached. I think we’ve both caused enough wreckage
without compounding the crimes.” “Excuse us, please,” came a familiar voice. And suddenly a big, warm hand closed over his hand. Brown fingers disentangled his own and Emir, his minder, wrapped his arm around Orlando’s shoulders, holding him tightly as he separated him from the terrified fan. “Everyone please just take one step back, if you will. Please. Let’s have some room here. You’re going to have to give Orli some room. He’s a little nervous with so many of you trying to talk to him at once.”  This novel is an excursion into things hidden beneath the surface. Primary characters are Sean Bean / Orlando Bloom / Viggo Mortensen and Elijah Wood / Dominic Monaghan Viggo Mortensen was a watcher. This was his duty
in life. He not only ‘looked,’ he actually ‘saw.’
The restless blue eyes took in everything and everyone around him, studying
the things that were normally held hidden. The fleeting glances, second
thoughts, and little lies of everyday discourse. It was all utterly fascinating
to Viggo. He saw beauty in everything, obvious or not, and found something
special in almost everyone. It was only a matter of time before he noticed.
After all, it was his duty. He was the first to see it...he wouldn’t
be the last. Chapters: Novel Length: Orlando Bloom is going to die on his twenty-fifth birthday “When I was 15 years old, an Angel came to
me on my birthday. He told me that in exactly 10 years, to the day, I
would die. Ten years seems like a long time when you’re fifteen
– it seems like a lifetime. So, I set out to live my whole life
in those ten years...” Too Many Heroes “Brilliant!” Orlando enthused. The pitch of the engine and scream of the blades changed as the craft tilted nimbly to the side, scooping air to change directions. Sean swallowed and squeezed his eyes shut. Viggo gripped his knee supportively. They flew up the valley close to the craggy flanks of the mountains, water glittering below and trees and rocks whipping by outside the windows. “I LOVE New Zealand!” Orli shouted. Trinket “See? I can act. I can make you think that
I’m fine. Everything’s just fine.” Telling
Tales “Dominic
was the first. He was primping for a date with a bucket full of cold Speights
and his Hobbit mates when he noticed the lump at the base of his spine.
” |
